I feel weird…because, yes, I had a weird weekend. Most of which stemmed from the M.I.A. show on Saturday.
So here’s the deal: I’m sleepy, I’m sickly (booze and junk food and little sleep for three days will do that to you, honey), I’m uneasy (the scary TV preview for The Strangers has me all nervous and frightened…lame as hell, damn it), and I don’t really do show reviews. At least not in the way most people do show reviews. But I’ll try to briefly give you a glimpse into the experience. For you and only you, dear reader (aww, that made you all uncomfortable and happy? Adorable…it mostly just made me uncomfortable…but that’s still cool for you).
So I don’t really like the Fillmore. I don’t know why, exactly, but I don’t. I’ve been to perhaps four shows there my entire life (I’ve been lucky they don’t often get people I’m willing to drop dough on seeing) and every time has been a bad experience. Two of the previous times I was underage and sober and one of the other times I was slightly drunk but had been tricked into going to a show under false pretenses by one of my brother’s ex-girlfriends (whom I never was really chummy with), and so I assumed that this would be the show where I would like the Fillmore. Because I would get crazy drunk (so this is terrible and a confession I don’t really like making, but I tend to get super drunk at concerts because I can get really easily annoyed at shows when sober…but when I’ve been drinking, I’m way more likely not to notice annoying/lame/perverted/disgusting/mean/asshat concert-goers (and yes, there are lots of them…if you haven’t noticed)) and I would be there for a show I actually wanted to see with people I chose to see it with.
But then.
I had a long day (really long…we’re talking road trips, hanging around outside for hours (while it was all hot and windy), and consuming only like 300 calories before 8:00 PM). So when we went to get something to eat and drink before the show, I was a bit…out of sorts I guess. We were already like hours late for the show and weren’t sure when exactly M.I.A. would go on (I’m so sick of having to predict when people are going to go on…I can’t stand getting to shows too early or too late and it kills me when I have no clue what time to get there) so we just decided to get appetizers and a few drinks. Well, being that I had almost nothing in my stomach, I got drunk fast. Which is never good for me or the rest of my evening. And our service took forever (which I didn’t really notice because I was too busy watching the room spin around me) so Eric was worried we were gonna be late for the show and then we couldn’t find a parking space even remotely near the theatre (or excuse me, auditorium) for the longest time because the Fillmore and the Ogden are horrible places to find parking at (especially when there were big shows going on at both).
But we finally made it through the doors and there was just a DJ spinning (and M.I.A. would not end up going on for like an hour after we got there…darn it). It was really crowded and we initially went pretty far up front, into the huge mass of dancing maniacs, and I thought maybe my bathroom dance diva would come out (and some sort of inner club kid would take over and it’d be crazy annoying but also kind of cute)…and it sort of did initially. There were some false starts and then I’d finally get going and be shaking it for like a minute and then I’d feel really exhausted and dizzy and have to stop…and then I’d be going again and have to stop because people would be pushing their way through the crowd and stepping on my feet (it had been a while since I’d gone to a large sort of show where you have to seriously consider whether or not it’s a good idea to wear sandals…and, being that I was completely off all day long, I forgot all about it)…and then I’d start again and some icky guy near me would be watching me and I’d get annoyed (interesting side note: I’ve never received so much attention from lesbians in my life…this was mostly just flattering though. I know, boys, double standards and yada yada. Sorry)…and then I’d get back into it but I wouldn’t be feeling the music…and yeah. I don’t know, I guess that’s what separates me from all the club kids…well, one of many things probably. Maybe if I had rested up all day and had a normal Saturday at all I could’ve managed better…but I was just so disoriented. There was no way I was dancing through all that without actually being on X or something.
So anyway, we ended up in the balcony by the time M.I.A. finally took the stage. I was kind of freaking out because all the people in the far south balcony looked really creepy…it’s so dark and you can’t really see them or their faces, you can just barely see people are over there…and it really seems like they’re watching you (it reminds me of the orgy scene from Eyes Wide Shut somehow). M.I.A. came on and I was maybe happy, but I also felt as if I might die. I was having a seriously hard time standing and I really wanted to be down on the floor but the dancing mass was frightening and I was hella dehydrated…and it wasn’t good at all. We tried standing at all different places in the theatre during her set, but I couldn’t get the feeling out of my head that I hated the Fillmore and it felt as though I wasn’t really at the concert (it was all out of body and strange). I just wanted to go home and eat something healthy and refreshing and fall fast asleep and stop feeling weird about everything. I went and sat on the floor for a while, during which Maya called all the ladies up on stage and they danced around for a while. It was weird; Ghostface did the same at his show and it was by far and away the worst part of that show (it wouldn’t have been so bad except they stayed up there for like ten minutes and I had to pee the entire time but I didn’t want to miss any of his set). And then the girls wouldn’t get off the stage and they had to ask them like four times to leave so they could continue on with the show and then boys got up on the stage and danced for a while after. Gosh, I just wanted to leave so much. I don’t know if it was the Fillmore or the crowd or my seriously damaged state of mind, but it all just seemed kind of uncomfortable and unsettling. I really can’t say why. It had nothing to do with the music (everything sounded pretty much how I thought it would sound…though we left before the encore (if there was one) and I never got to hear “Paper Planes,” which I really wanted to hear because, of course, it’s a fucking awesome song and also because I heard it was really weird and not that great at Coachella, and I wanted to see what the live performance was like for myself). At some point she said we must be used to hearing entirely different shows than anyone else ever hears because everyone who plays in Denver is out of breath…which, I always forget about the whole altitude thing. I haven’t ever noticed this so much, but maybe that’s why some people I’ve seen have sounded shitty (I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt anyhow).
So we finally left and went home. Eric made me some edamame but I fell asleep on the cursed comfy couch before it cooled off enough to eat. I had all sorts of nightmares, one after another, and I woke up the next morning with one heck of a hang-over. I felt as though I’d just gone through something horribly traumatic, but couldn’t really say what.
Weird, my friends. That’s all.
I guess it’s times like this when I feel like I need a change, though I’m not sure what. Damn it, Fillmore.
I'm a writer, music freak, pop culture critic-at-large, natural born lover, and professional crayon drawer.
