I’m pretty sure I have adult onset ADD.
I’m reading this book Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl and I’m currently like 60% of the way through with it (I’m in the late 200s and it ends in the early 500s)…so go on, congratulate me! What an accomplishment, being over halfway done with a novel! Incredible, I say (so you should too!)!
Oh yeah, did I mention I’ve been reading the fucking thing for six months?
It’s all pretty embarrassing when you consider things. I have a Bachelor’s degree in English Literature for crying out loud (and it’s not as though I just skated by; I don’t really like to discuss it but I graduated with a pretty nerdy 3.98 GPA…one A-, in case you’re wondering), and now I read four pages a day (if I’m lucky) in a book that’s a pretty entertaining and uncomplicated read. I never used to be this way (I used to be the fastest reader I knew and even won awards for it in grade school and shit) and I certainly didn’t have any problems with my reading load in college…I don’t know what’s going on. I came up with a few possibilities and they’re all vaguely shitty…but here they are anyway:
- This is the first book I’ve read in over a year and a half not written by Haruki Murakami. I was determined to only read him until I had read all his writings and I was just about to get into The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles but then freakin’ Eric convinced me take a break and start Special Topics instead. Which was maybe a good idea because I’m all insanely in love with the wonderful world of Murakami. I feel like his protagonists are always basically me (except dudes). Consider: they’re confused and lonely and lost and spend all their time listening to music and pondering the world and eating and drinking and thinking about/having sex. Amazing likeness, right? And their worlds move along at a leisurely pace most of the time so I can easily read a few pages a day and feel like I’m moving right along with them, like we’re pals leading parallel lives. Reading him is like receiving a giant hug every day…though it maybe gets a little dangerous because it validates the way I’m drifting through life (which I don’t have a problem with, incidentally…but other people might). Anyhow, Special Topics demands to be read at a more diligent pace than Murakami and is much more involved and wordy (not a bad thing at all; Murakami just happens to have a more delicate and straight forward style–it’s seriously gorgeous–and it’s been hard for me to adapt to something so different).
- I was reading it late at night once and I mindlessly started flipping through the rest of the book, checking to see if there were ever going to be any hot sex scenes (like you’ve never done that? C’mon, you’re with friends here). I found an almost sex scene (the closest this book seems to get…damn it)…and I also found the rest of the major plot points in the book, including one gigantic revelation that ruined the whole mystery of the story for me. Granted, I can now see a whole lot of little things hinting at this revelation that I would’ve never seen if I didn’t know what was to come (Pessl’s amazingly clever and the protagonist’s narration is insanely complex and well-crafted)…but I’m definitely in no rush to figure anything out now.
- My lack of motivation is legendary, as you should know by now.
- I apparently have ADD!!! Remember?! I read a few pages and then feel like I have other shit to do, I can’t concentrate, I need to dance, I’m paranoid I’m missing tiny bits of intelligent foreshadowing (damn that Pessl and her ingenuity!), my vision’s blurring, I have to dance, I don’t know the last time I read such a long and ridiculously punctuated sentence with so many disclaimers and asides (except for in my own writing, of course) and I feel as though I should reread it over and over to evaluate if it really works or not, I might be hungry (what’s in the fridge? Fruit? Is it still any good? Probably not? I hate my life!), and I’ve really gotta dance NOW! What’s this bounded paper I’m holding? It’s interfering with my moves! Throw it on the floor! Bring on the Timberlake!!!
It’s excruciating living with this mind day after day.
Oh well, I guess I’ll just keep reading my few pages every day. Eventually I’ll be through and can go leaping back into the comforting arms of Murakami. I do, however, highly recommend Special Topics. Like I’ve said, it’s very smart and well-written and the main character (Blue van Meer…bloody fine name) is awesome and it’s all pretty amusing and engaging. I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t read a book by a female in years (unfortunately not since I was assigned them in college) and this hasn’t been a conscious decision or anything…it’s just how things have gone down. All my favorite writers have been dudes and I never really considered it until I began reading this book. And you know what? Marisha can take down a lot of the guys I’ve read with her writing (and no, it isn’t a “book for chicks” at all; I would never be able to tell whether a male or female wrote it, which is a quality I greatly admire in writing). I’m glad my reintroduction to modern female storytellers is with one so amazing…especially being that I’m a wannabe writer girl and all. Nice to see, nice to see.
As for my screwed up mental processes…I guess I’ll probably continue to be screwed. I’m glad I finished college when I did; those reading lists would be hell now.
I'm a writer, music freak, pop culture critic-at-large, natural born lover, and professional crayon drawer.
